I get the feeling that Fridays are good days to do what I’m going to call “Q&A Fridays.” I’m going to look for questions that I can answer in future posts, so if you have any, let me know! I’m taking suggestions.
This week’s thought provoking question: What advice would you give you a year ago?
Hindsight is always 20/20, so the answer to this question might seem like an easy one. You can look back and remember the things that were worth it as well as the things that weren’t. The things that you shouldn’t have done and should do again are obvious.
So, Jenn of 2013, here are a few things that you should take into consideration:
1. You’re worth it.
It’s so easy and obvious to those of us who are nurturers by nature (not cause I hate ya…old school rap pun right there) to put other people’s needs before our own. It’s so much EASIER for us to put someone else’s needs first, to support others and offer yourself up to be a salve for their wounds. There are givers and there are takers in this world, and we need both types to survive as a collective human race. But, we also must have the strength of mind and the courage to say, “This isn’t good for me.” It’s a hard phrase for us Jenns to utter, but this past year, I’ve uttered it more than once. So, Jenn of a year ago, say it, believe it and know–You’re worth enough to put your needs before someone else’s. Your heart might break a little bit, you might have to do a little exploration, but dude, you’ll be fine. It’s an okay thing to do, and no matter what happens in the end, you’ve got your own piece (and peace) of mind.
2. You’re a risk taker. I like you.
Liking yourself is essential to surviving this next year, Jenn. You’ll be faced with people and places who will judge you, look down upon you and delight in that fact. Remember that you’re the person in control of your own destiny here, lady. You get to steer the ship and drive the bus. Don’t be afraid to try things that someone else might be too afraid to do. Often, their comments stem from the fear that they’re too afraid to do what you’re going out and trying. Stand up and be counted, but be thoughtful about it. Use your “thinking cap” and consider: Will it help? Will it hinder? Will I feel good being associated with it? If you can answer these questions, you’ve found the value.
See, the trick is to remember that when you take a risk, always be prepared for the consequences. Know that you might fail; it might turn out to be a total disaster, and you could be totally overestimating the awesomeness of the outcome. Then, though you may have to look a little harder to find it, the return on your investment is the knowledge of what NOT to do again. Spin it until you find the positive and remember what Capote said, “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
3. You’re made up of flaws and flauntable qualities. Deal with it!
As someone who’s always open to critique and criticism, you would think that it’s easy to hear those things about yourself. It’s a part of being a good employee or a good coworker to take ideas from your teammates and evaluate. But, when it comes to your personal nature, it can be really damaging. But, here’s the thing oh ghost of Jenn past, those little flaws make you who you are. You’re an imperfect constellation of flaws, flauntable qualities and personality. When you realize the need to accept the good with the bad just as easily. You’ll stumble, and you’ll get behind the eight ball. But, you have the awesome privilege of waking up tomorrow and trying your hardest again tomorrow. This is the long haul, lady, not a footrace.
Overall, advice to Jenn circa 2013: You’re doing a pretty damn good job, girl! Don’t change an action, but have a good attitude and response in your back pocket as often as you possibly can. Be your own champion.
And, don’t buy so many shoes. You’re not going to wear half of them anyway. 🙂